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But Dee Dee acted, of all things, offended, and dodged away."Ah ah ah... watch it," she cautioned Laura. "I thought you were just going to loan me some money."Since she was a fairly humorless person, she rarely smiled, and even her playfulness was a little hollow and menacing, so that Laura didn't know if she were teasing or not. She was still close enough, however, for Laura to extend one arm and run her fingertip along the phenomenally soft skin of her shoulder, round and sleek and black and gleaming. Dee Dee turned her face to watch the finger, expressionless and calm. Laura curled her fingertip under the spaghetti strap and flipped it playfully."You have the most beautiful body," she said, softly."You just want to fuck me," Dee Dee glowered at her. "You're just like everybody else. All they want to do is fuck me. Men. Women. They don't take me seriously. I wish I didn't have this body if... if that's all they want to do."Caught by surprise at this outburst, Laura felt deep. I couldn’t wait and yet, being the pleaser and perfectionist that I am, I was terrified at the possibility of failure or, almost as diabolical… mediocrity.What if my own abilities as a lover, my own idea of my sexy, sensual self was all in my own mind? What if nerves took over? What if for whatever reason he didn’t enjoy me or the evening? My sexual/sensual motor runs at a pretty constant purr but the possibility that I was might actually be a great big fraud almost stopped me in my tracks. …..A moment of insecurity. The burden of responsibility to make this truly an occasion to remember weighed me down momentarily.However as I always do, I gave myself a stern talking to, got a grip on myself and reverted back to purring. For the next few weeks the possibilities ran through my mind. What I could do? What would bring him pleasure? What would completely blow his mind and what was to be the order of things? I felt like I was formulating a recipe of sorts…a dash of sexy, pinch of sensual.
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